“What a lot of people don’t realize is that their ‘little t’ trauma can be like getting paper cut; experiencing it repeatedly until you’re covered in it could paralyze a person,” says Szasz.
Unfortunately, many people minimize their trauma and often turn themselves on, with thought processes like “other people had it so much worse, I should be grateful”.
How can trauma appear in our daily lives?
Many people experience some kind of trauma throughout their lives, but not everyone will suffer the adverse effects of such experiences. However, for others, our trauma may appear in adulthood and may begin to impact our lives in dangerous or destructive ways.
“Low self-esteem, disruptive and unstable relationships, and chronic illnesses are some of the most obvious ways childhood trauma manifests,” says Szasz, “but for many, addiction is a common indicator that someone It’s hard to come to terms with his past.
“Many people use substances to process or numb discomfort from past experiences. past has left them with a lack of healthy coping mechanisms,” says Szasz.
How can trauma manifest in our relationship to ourselves and to others?
It’s not just addiction that can appear as a response to our childhood trauma. According to Szasz, all parts of our life can be impacted.
“In addition to addiction, childhood trauma can manifest in other, more subtle ways in adulthood,” says Szasz. “We may have a fleeting sense of ourselves, not be quite sure what is good for us, and not quite grasp a meaningful way of being. At the other end of the continuum, we might developing an inflated sense of self, with the feeling of emptiness inside. We can experience difficulty connecting with people and life in general and often people talk about a constant feeling of emptiness”.
“Another common indicator of childhood trauma is the way we approach our intimate relationships, as we tend to repeat what was molded to us in our early childhood with our partners,” Szasz explains.
“In our relationships with others, trauma can manifest in different ways. You might be overly needy with your partners, a sign that you were involved with a primary caregiver as a child, or maybe you avoid intimacy altogether because as a child you were often alone and sort it out yourself.
How we might try to deal with childhood trauma
According to Szasz, there are many coping mechanisms that people engage in unconsciously following childhood trauma.
“At first, the coping mechanisms we use can be helpful; for example, pleasing people can keep us safe in an abusive home, but later in life it can hurt our happiness,” Szasz says.
“Perfectionism is another example of a coping mechanism – it can help us feel like we’re in control of our lives, but when it all gets too much, we burn out.”
Szasz says these coping mechanisms mean we learn to numb feelings, whether it’s with a series of relationships, alcohol, drugs or other destructive behaviors.
Why Our Past Trauma Suddenly Resurfaces
If you’re wondering why you suddenly started having issues with your past when you were doing fine before, this can be concerning. Szasz says that even though we’ve dealt with our past well to some extent, sometimes an event or a relationship can trigger something underlying.
“Perhaps there is an important relationship in our life that makes us wonder why we can’t get it right? Or when we start to struggle, the cumulative effect of childhood trauma manifests as mental illness or addiction,” Szasz says.
“Anyway, when we stop feeling the good things and become unhappy, it’s time to seek professional support. Ask for help. There is support out there and you are worthy of it.
Private South Pacific is Australia’s leading treatment center for addiction, anxiety and depression, where we treat the underlying causes of mental health issues. If you or someone you love is suffering from childhood trauma or mental health issues call our team on 1800 063 332 or take a free self-assessment NOW.
