Fans broke down in tears on Wednesday as Lewis Capaldi candidly explained how his mental health struggles nearly ended his career.
In his moving Netflix documentary How I’m Feeling Now, the 26-year-old musician recounts how the pressure following the success of his debut album, Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent, triggered “appalling” panic attacks.
Lewis, who was diagnosed with Tourette after doctors detected his uncontrollable shoulder twitching, also spoke about being a hypochondriac.
Hypochondriasis causes sufferers to experience extreme anxiety about their health, including worry about being or becoming seriously ill.
The Scottish singer said: “I’ve always been a hypochondriac. I’ve been obsessed with like, if something’s wrong with me, I’m like, ‘F**k, I’m dying’.
‘It was a tough watch’: Fans burst into tears on Wednesday as Lewis Capaldi candidly explained how his mental health issues nearly ended his career
Tough: In his moving Netflix documentary How I’m Feeling Now, the 26-year-old musician recounts how the pressure following the success of his debut album, Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent, sparked “appalling” panic attacks “.
“I went to see a therapist and she was like, ‘Don’t you think that has something to do with the fact that your grandmother and your aunt both died when you were between three and four years, in a year.
Lewis described how his anxiety manifested as a shoulder twitch that would become so severe when writing songs that he had to put his second album on hold.
After his Someone You Love was a smash hit, Lewis was filled with doubts about whether he could ever recreate the magic while writing in lockdown.
He says, “I don’t have confidence in my songwriting abilities and I think it gets worse the more successful I get.”
“The tic that I have gets worse when I sit down to play the piano. Physically painful. And I get really short of breath and it’s like my back hurts when I go to do it. Which is pretty scary .
Lewis’ anxiety skyrocketed and he began to suffer terrible panic attacks as he struggled to cope with the scale of his success.
He told the documentarians: “I am completely disconnected from reality. I can’t breathe, I can’t feel my breath coming in. I feel dizzy, I feel like something is going on in my head and I’m sweating.
“My whole body starts doing what my shoulder is doing and I’m convulsing. Either I feel like I’m going to be stuck like this forever, or I’m going to die.
“For me, it’s like a completely normal reaction to that. If you’re put in this situation, you’re going to have something like this, especially if you’re already an anxious person, which I guess I was.
“I never had the pressure that came to blow me away, but we’re there now, so we just have to deal with it.”
Fans took to Twitter to show their support for Lewis and praised the star for “being real”.
One wrote: ‘Shed a little tear watching your documentary. Your classy. Thanks for being you and the real x’
Another wrote: “This show is a bit of an emotional roller coaster.. One hell of a ride!!”
A third said: ‘Love your documentary it was a tough watch as I have Tourette but really good job keep taking care of yourself’
One user added: ‘Random sobbing on a Wednesday in the Lewis documentary on Netflix’
One wrote: ‘I’ve also had mental health issues for a very, very long time. Quite hard to watch sometimes. Love him more now than ever’
Struggles: Lewis, who was diagnosed with Tourette after doctors became aware of his uncontrollable shoulder twitching, also spoke about being a hypochondriac
Tough watch: Fans took to Twitter to show their support for Lewis and praised the star for ‘being real’
Those closest to Lewis have expressed concern for his mental health, with the singer eventually going to a therapist and putting his writing on hold – after initially resisting attempts.
The therapist told the singer that his fears for his own health and morality stemmed from the death of his aunt by suicide.
Lewis suffered from uncontrollable tics while performing his song Fade at his very first show at Wembley in 2020.
He was later diagnosed with Tourette’s disease after doctors detected his uncontrollable shoulder twitching.
Tourette’s is a neurological condition that causes you to make involuntary movements and sounds called tics.
The diagnosis gave the singer some peace of mind as it made “all the sense”.
As for his anxiety, Lewis was told that with medication, exercise and a change in diet, he could see drastic improvement.
His second album, Broken by Desire to be Heavenly Sent, will be released this summer.
He says: “Sometimes it was a little nerve-wracking because I didn’t know how to make an album – but it turns out if you just write songs you like and release them.”
Speaking in the documentary, Lewis’ mother Carol revealed her son was in the house when his sister tragically passed away.
Lewis’ father Mark then revealed: ‘Pat was Carol’s sister. She committed suicide.
Lewis added: “I was there and saw a lot of stuff and stuff. We were outside the apartment the night my dad came upstairs and found her.
Bursting into tears and struggling to speak, her mother explained: ‘You feel so guilty that you couldn’t stop it.
“But I think you could drive yourself crazy with that. You have to cut to the chase and think, ‘Well, you can’t stop somebody.
“You can try to help, give them as much help and support as you can, but unless they want to help themselves there’s not much you can do.
“I still feel guilty about it, I still feel like, uh, I have to quit.”
Lewis later revealed he wrote his hit song Before You Go about his aunt – when he also struggled to keep his emotions down.
Tough: Lewis described how his anxiety manifested in a twitch in his shoulder which would become so severe when writing songs that he had to put his second album on hold
Diagnosis: Lewis was diagnosed with Tourette after doctors detected his uncontrollable shoulder twitching
Devastating: Speaking in the documentary, Lewis’ mother Carol revealed her son was in the house when his sister tragically died
It comes after Lewis revealed he was battling vertigo and admitted he thought he was dying “for a few days” while suffering from the baffling symptom.
Lewis revealed his latest health issue at the Everyman cinema in Glasgow on Thursday, as part of a special screening of his upcoming documentary on Netflix.
Speaking to fans, he said: “I’m alive and alive. I haven’t been very well. I’m dizzy. So I’m spinning but I’m smiling. I’m not dying so it’s good. I thought I was for a few days, but luckily I’m here.
Vertigo is a symptom rather than a condition itself. It is the sensation that you, or the environment around you, is moving or spinning.